Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Lengthy recaps The Actual Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 12, Episode 2, Receipt Offender, with a bit of assist from a glass of Rose (or two) …
Hi there, my Housewives-Lovers, and welcome to your Crimson Wine Recap of those nutty Housewives!
On tonight’s menu are receipts … Elton John charity occasion dinner receipts, that’s.
So no time to waste .. we’ve a brand new Housewife to fulfill, and Sutton ain’t gettin’ any youthful. She is 50, in any case.
So bust out these readers … pour a glass of champs … and let’s toast to Cartier rings that make you appear to be Liberace (I’m lookin’ at you, Diana)!
Lisa Rinna is gonna get a storyline – Sutton be damned
So now that Lisa Rinna’s daughter and Scott “The Lord” Disick have damaged up since final season, good ol’ Rinna has to hold her hat on SOMETHING.
And what may very well be higher than the contrived “I didn’t like what Sutton stated on WWHL” drama.
In case you recall, Sutton ran her mouth to Andy, saying that she invited Lisa and Harry to an Elton John charity occasion and didn’t obtain a thanks.
Effectively, did Sutton truly purchase a desk?? The plot thickens …
However earlier than we get into all of THAT, because it was the primary focus of tonight’s episode, let’s first examine in with Dorit, who chats with PK about how actually fortunate they’re. The robbers solely took 50 or so purses and PK’s $60,000 watch, however that’s nothing (apparently).
The extra essential factor is that they’re secure (actually, I imply that) and have a compassionate pal in Rinna — who was type sufficient to supply to cancel Harry’s party within the wake of the theft.
And lookie there. right here she comes now, struttin’ down the road in her finest sizzling neon inexperienced mini, decided to increase this Elton storyline previous Episode 1 be damned! (I’m givin’ ya till subsequent week, Rinna, and that’s it!)
Meet the brand new Housewive, Diana Jenkins!
As a lot as I’d love to speak extra about Rinna, we’ve obtained extra essential issues on the desk. And it comes within the type of one new Housewife who will not be afraid to indicate off her “Nouveau Richness.”
It’s DIANA JENKINS!
Crystal says she’s a pal of Lisa’s and a “firecracker,” so “prepare.”
You’ll be able to’t put your finger on her accent, however she’s apparently an “it lady” and leads a “massive rich life.”
The truth that Soiled Diana casually talked about being with “Kim” throughout her Paris theft is sweet sufficient for me.
Enjoyable Reality: Diana’s new husband, Asher, is 33 years outdated, Diana 15 years his senior, so that you do the maths. And as Sutton amusingly famous, “Asher is sort of dashing – he needs to be known as Dasher.”
Sutton reveals the receipts!
And although Diana is “nouveau riche” along with her 10 gigantic Cartier rings, she is stylish sufficient to maintain these women in examine.
You see, the “women” need to begin speaking about charity dinners and whether or not Sutton actually paid for the desk that Lisa was imagined to have sat at.
And on cue, Sutton pulls out the receipt (with a bit of prompting assist from her pal, Garcelle) to indicate Lisa that she paid for a spot at her desk for each Lisa and Harry.
Diana says, come on, women, this isn’t the best way … and since Lisa realized she was combating a dropping battle right here, she was all, “yeah, let’s not do that.” (Come on, Rinna!)
It doesn’t matter anyway as a result of not solely did Sutton apologize for what she stated on WWHL, however she and Rinna are ready to each be faux good, say they adore one another, and hug it out.
We will’t say the identical, although, about Sutton and Erika, who combat like a bunch of grade-schoolers (shut the eff up – NO, YOU shut the eff up.)
Moooooooo?!?! Have you ever obtained any of the great things?
In order that about does it! Oh, besides that when Kyle confronts Sutton about her lack of empathy for Dorit, Sutton basically “doubles down” and talks about how she has been affected by weapons and robbers.
Is that this what makes her a receipt offender? I don’t know. However what I do know is that the phrases “Elton John” finest not come out of Rinna’s mouth subsequent episode, or there shall be h**l to pay … as in, I’ll sick certainly one of Erika’s mean-muggin’ appears to be like on her.
So who’s the Diamond Award winner of the evening??
Effectively, as a lot as I’d like to present it to Sir Elton John himself, I’m giving it to none aside from ….. DRUMROLL PLEASE …….
Kyle will get this week’s crown for her confessional humor! I imply, everyone knows she’s finished some fairly nice impressions prior to now, however her calling Diana Jenkins a personality witness as a result of Diana is the sponsor of the Elton John occasion ….
Effectively, simply Bravo, Kyle. Bravo.
Alright, my Lovers! We are going to see you subsequent week! Within the meantime, I’m going to both try to meet a person at Victoria’s Secret social gathering as a result of it did the trick for our new lady Diana or discover me a kind of pancake crepe cake thingies.
I’ll take the latter.
The Actual Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on Bravo.